“The comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.”
I always remember HATING having my photo taken as a kid, and apart from an awkward embarrassing selfie phase I’m sure most teenagers go through (..please tell me I’m not alone? Every MySpace profile needed about a dozen of them right?!) I’ve never been comfortable or confident in front of a camera.
About two years ago I finally decided enough was enough and I’ve been on a personal mission to get more comfortable with having the camera turned on me. It seemed silly to be so scared of being in front of it and so happy behind it, especially as I know how photo shoots with the right photographers are such great confidence boosters and important in documenting milestones.
When I turned twenty-five I had something of a mini mid-midlife crisis. Among many things I felt that it was such a shame that I let my very normal personal hang ups, depression and anxiety take the reigns and have so much influence over so many of my decisions. Not doing something out of choice is one thing, not doing something out of fear is different. I’ve never wanted to be centre of attention, I’m much happier floating around on the edges doing my own thing. I am quite chatty most of the time yes, but at my core I am a huge introvert, and if you meet me in person you’ll likely see me wearing my glasses and wearing no make up.
So recently I stepped out from behind the camera again for Amanda Herbert, I took off my specs and put on some make up. If you don’t know who Amanda is please go check out her work because it’s so good and she’s so lovely.
Every time I do a shoot like this I honestly do learn so much about what it might feel like for my clients and it definitely helps me keep developing as a photographer and change my approach. It's great to also model for a friend like I did with Amanda because you really can relax a lot more, bounce ideas off each other and not feel scared to try new things.
Two years ago I would NEVER have had the confidence to do something like this, yet alone post the results on the internet, and if I'm honest I don't think I will be doing it again for a long time, I'm happiest and feel more myself being the photo taker.
Am I perfect? No. Do I think I am in any way perfect? Oh hell no! But I think every single person on the planet should have as much fun as possible while they're still on it, try different things and not let those pesky personal hang ups or other issues hold you back too much. Photos really aren’t fatal, so what if you get a bad photo of yourself? And if you get a great one taken by someone as talented as Amanda you’ll definitely walk on with a bit more spring in your step.
Thank you so much Amanda, you rock! 📷
Love & stuff